Girl Reporter:  What do you want to talk about in your interview today?

W: (silent)

GR: If you don’t have anything that you want to talk about I have prepared some questions.  First of all, Woodleaf, exactly is it that you do?

Woodleaf: I am a writer, but also a conductor and a composer, and a businessman.

GR: Do you play an instrument?

W: I do not.

GR: Are you a performance artist?

W: Certainly not, if you were to imply that I would perform for the amusement of others.

GR: Tell me about the begonia that was blooming in the bottom of Lake Blanca.

W: That was part of my story. A begonia is incapable of blooming in the bottom of a lake.  The begonia could have been a symbol of hope.  I will leave it to the readers to draw their own conclusions.

GR: Fascinating

W: It was blooming, until it died of neglect and inclement weather.  Here is a picture of it that I saved.  You can use this in the article.  Thank you again for interviewing me. You are a gracious young lady.


W: This was a special begonia

GR: Why?

W: it was supposed to be like the Kimjongilia Begonia

GR: Killa ma what?

W: Kimjongilia a special red begonia that was supposed to bloom in North Korea

GR: This North Korea obsession of yours has got to go. I am so sick of it. I try to ignore it, the best I can.

W: I never found a Kimjongilia Begonia, so this a begonia that looks exactly like it. I bought it when it was blooming outside a grocery store, like a homeless person asking for spare change, but it died.

GR: LOL That’s funny! I can almost hear the Man from Another Place saying doesn’t she exactly like the real Laura Palmer?

W: He’s not a dwarf, you know.

GR: As a reporter, I made it my business to know everything, and he is not a dwarf. Luckily, he was spared the horror of the New Twin Peaks.





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