Girl Reporter: What do you want to talk about in your interview today?
GR: If you don’t have anything that you want to talk about I have prepared some questions. First of all, Woodleaf, exactly is it that you do?
Woodleaf: I am a writer, but also a conductor and a composer, and a businessman.
GR: Do you play an instrument?
W: I do not.
GR: Are you a performance artist?
W: Certainly not, if you were to imply that I would perform for the amusement of others.
GR: Tell me about the begonia that was blooming in the bottom of Lake Blanca.
W: That was part of my story. A begonia is incapable of blooming in the bottom of a lake. The begonia could have been a symbol of hope. I will leave it to the readers to draw their own conclusions.
W: It was blooming, until it died of neglect and inclement weather. Here is a picture of it that I saved. You can use this in the article. Thank you again for interviewing me. You are a gracious young lady.
W: This was a special begonia
W: it was supposed to be like the Kimjongilia Begonia
GR: Killa ma what?
W: Kimjongilia a special red begonia that was supposed to bloom in North Korea
GR: This North Korea obsession of yours has got to go. I am so sick of it. I try to ignore it, the best I can.
W: I never found a Kimjongilia Begonia, so this a begonia that looks exactly like it. I bought it when it was blooming outside a grocery store, like a homeless person asking for spare change, but it died.
GR: LOL That’s funny! I can almost hear the Man from Another Place saying doesn’t she exactly like the real Laura Palmer?
W: He’s not a dwarf, you know.
GR: As a reporter, I made it my business to know everything, and he is not a dwarf. Luckily, he was spared the horror of the New Twin Peaks.