Woodleaf goes Door to Door
Old Lady answers door
Woodleaf: Hello, I was wondering if you happened to be from Nueva Germania by any chance?
Woodleaf: You’re are not? I am sorry to hear that. I was wondering if you would be willing to say you’re from Nueva Germania, and that you knew Mengele. You look like an old enough to have known him before he died in 79. You can lie about your age, and say you were a child. I won’t mind.
Why would I want to do this? Well, its very important. I was going to buy the fake house that I made up for him. It’s in my Very Important newspaper article, from March 13, 2005. (pulls out a crumbled, yellowing newspaper article)
I’m going to turn the house into something. First it was going to be a factory for Dreamachines, but their values took a nose dive when my spiteful girlfriend insisted on living. So, now its going to be a shrine that Mengele Fans visit, and I plan to charge them admission.
You say, Mengele has a house, and its somewhere in Brazil? Yes, I know that, but what if he had Two Houses? What if one was his vacation house? Did you want to go to Nueva Germania with me? I have tours.
I have not been there yet myself, but as soon as my funding comes in, I will go there and find some structure to call Mengele’s House and then buy it. I just need help with establishing that Mengele was in Nueva Germania.
What you say, it doesn’t matter, that Mengele was a Monster, and you don’t care where he was or was not. That is a fine attitude to have, you Old Bat.
You say, I am looking just as old as you? I’m like 35. I just look 60.
Look, I had a woman with an enormous head that was going to say she knew Mengele as a child, but she pulled out of the deal when I tried to sell her 12 year old daughter to my pet parrot. I don’t need you, I can find another patsy, a better patsy, probably just at the next house.
Door Slams Shut