Door to Door

Woodleaf goes Door to Door

(Note only Woodleaf is speaking,  in this story. We learn what the old lady, named Helen, said only when Woodleaf reiterate what she said)

ill fitting
Woodleaf wears ill fitting suit jackets like these worn by the English Rock Band The Who

Doorbell Rings

Old Lady answers door

Woodleaf: Hello, I was wondering if you happened to be from Nueva Germania by any chance?

Woodleaf: You’re are not? I am sorry to hear that. I was wondering if you would be willing to say you’re from Nueva Germania, and that you knew Mengele. You look like an old enough to have known him before he died in 1979. You can lie about your age, and say you were a child. I won’t mind.

Why would I want to do this? Well, its very important. I was going to buy the fake house that I made up for him. It’s in my Very Important newspaper article, from March 13, 2005. (pulls out a crumbled, yellowing newspaper article)

I’m going to turn the house into something. First it was going to be a factory for Dreamachines, but their values took a nose dive when my spiteful ex-girlfriend, Erstwhile insisted on living. So, now it’s going to be a shrine that Mengele Fans visit, and I plan to charge them admission.

You say, Mengele has a house, and its somewhere in Brazil?

Yes, I know that, but what if he had Two Houses? What if one was his vacation house? Do you want to go to Nueva Germania with me? I have tours. I take a tour group to Nueva Germania twice a year in the Spring and the Fall, because I think that is the nicest weather.  People can sign up at Planet Juniper dot Net, but I have yet to get things started. I am still in the planning stages. My latest idea to create buzz about Nueva Germania is to call it a vegetarian/feminist utopia. Hitler was a vegetarian, and Elisabeth Nietzsche was a woman.

Yes, I know they were forced to eat meat, but only because they were starving due to crop failure caused by poor soils. They would have been vegetarians if they could have been.

But as soon as my funding comes in, I will go there and find some structure to call Mengele’s House and then buy it. I just need help with establishing that Mengele was in Nueva Germania.

What you say, it doesn’t matter, that Mengele was a Monster, and you don’t care where he was or was not? That is a fine attitude to have, you Old Bat.

You say, I am looking just as old as you? I’m like 35. I just look 60.

Look, I once stayed at the house of a woman named Gee with an enormous head and a big family. She was going say she knew Mengele as a child, but she pulled out of the deal when I tried to sell her 12 year old daughter to my pet parrot. I don’t need you, I can find another patsy, a better patsy, probably just at the next house.

Door Slams Shut

Historical Background Notes:

Elisabeth Förster-Nietzsche and her husband Bernhard Förster convinced a number of German Families to move to Paraguay. Bernhard Förster lied telling them, that land had been given to them by the Government of Paraguay.  But, the land not given to them. Many of them died, because they choose a location deep in the interior which made it difficult to bring in supplies. The crops did not grow well. There was famine and disease. Some of the families went back to Germany, if they could afford to do so. Others had invested their life savings and had no money to go back. The Government Paraguay granted the land to the families, when they were aware of the situation. The land was not valuable or very farmable. Those who chose to remain faced poverty and hardship.

See the Article in The New York Times May 5, 2013

Bernhard Förster had a mental breakdown when he was confronted with the failure of the immigration. He fled to a hotel room at Hotel del Lago, where he committed suicide with poison. Elisabeth moved back to Germany to help care for her now mentally disabled brother, Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. While Friedrich was incapacitated Elisabeth rewrote his last unpublished book to make it anti-Semitic. Hitler took noticed and languished praise upon Elisabeth Nietzsche. When Elisabeth died Hitler gave her a state funeral.

When the TV program Globe Trekker visited Paraguay, they took footage inside the Hotel del Lago and at the grave site of Bernhard Förster. Bernhard Förster’s grave is a very large and opulent grave in the ancient graveyard. Nueva Germania has a small museum only open upon request.

The Great Website Con

When Woodleaf introduces himself to you and offers to create and manage your website for free, never take him up on the offer. Once he has control of your website he will upload unpleasant things and pose as you. When someone makes a web enquiry, he will answer them back pretending to be you. You will end up having to file a complaint with Direct Nic, Godaddy or whomever to get control of your website and the process will not be quick and easy. The website will hang on frozen in time for years in a stage of not being able to be altered or deleted while the appears process lingers on. Always check the Who Is Domain which Woodleaf always fills out with fake names, and then he gets privacy on that so the fake name is not revealed, but may be one of his alises such as Mohammed Farouk.  That name was only when he was his Arabs are neat phase, but then he moved on to his North Korea Phase, but now he is onto another phrase his worst one yet. Using the name Doug, he pretends to be half Italian.

Even on his own website he uses fake names, and then he claims they are his people whom he hired to do his website, as he is too busy busy and important to do them himself. Everyone has to fill out a Who Is Domain to get a website, but does it ever occur to people that you don’t need to use your real name? Why pay extra for “privacy” when you use a fake name to begin with? This privacy thing is a scam that web hosting companies dreamed up to pitch to people who call in for website help. The privacy will cost more then the website, which may be very cheap or even free. So, far he has scammed at least three sets of foolish people and possible more that are unknown. He has a fake Yerba Mate website.

This is why when Woodleaf dies his tombstone will read “Bad Compost”.  Bad Company is the compost that you can’t add to your compost bin, because it has something bad for your garden. This may be something harmful to plants like salt, weed seeds, insect eggs or diseases.

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