Fish and Wildlife takes Cracky

Woodleaf is continuing to talk to Cracky, his Parrot and only friend.

And so you see, Cracky, when I uploaded “My Story” about G (as in Gee, you have a really big head) and I uploaded a video of her large, fat, egg-shaped head on my website at Planet Juniper, (I had tricked a bunch of senile old people into allow me to use their name, so I could and would upload the most offensive of content, but no one would know it was me.) It was not that I wanted so much to upload offensive materials, which I could have done, but I was really angry at them. I blamed the Four Fruits for the reason that they did not like the idea of the city sister project any longer.  For example, I posted a post, which I claimed was a letter written by someone on Planet Juniper. Let us look back at this letter now Cracky, as I am in the mood to reminisce. I call this story “The Cheesy Woody Allen.”  I spelled Woody Allen’s name wrong, because it made the character more believable.

My name is (deleted,) and I am on the Planet Juniper Community Association board. Today while sleeping in late after working the late shift, I was awoken by my dogs barking loudly at about 9 am. When I went outside to investigate, I found a white male 5’8 ” high,  140 lb., blonde gray wavy curly hair, bushy mustache, prescription glasses, with a large scar on his right neck, with a clip board in his hand cornered by my dogs. ( he kind of looked like a cheesy woody Allan) When he was questioned, he said he was an investigator for the post office, investigating mail fraud, and identity theft, and showed me a photocopy of a photograph of a Hispanic male, but he was dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, and did not look the part. when pressed for ID he said he did not carry ID when working under cover, this all seemed to be some sort of scam, but he stuck to his story.”

Macy and her friends posted amusing posts on the guest book on my North Korea page on the Juniper website. I don’t recall what they said.  I guess, they were very pleased with themselves at the time. So, it happened that one of Kim Jong Ills wives had died, and I made this page in which I would take memorial comments about her. At that time I was doing a lot of stuff about death in my act. Macy found the page to be incomprehensible, and a public relations nightmare. Do you know what they did to Otto Warmbier? You don’t want to know.

Macy saved “my story” and the video of the woman in which I made her say that Nueva Germanians had to eat human flesh. It was a leg to be exact, and Macy has all of this saved in case anyone wants to debate the videos existence.

I guess they thought what they had posted was pretty funny. I could almost hear them laughing in my mind’s eye. So, I took down the guest book.

My Art only generated negative comments. So, I banned all comments from everything possible. My reputation grew so notorious, that not one single person left anymore comments. I had to make up my own positive comments from fake people over praising me. I posted Macy’s Home Address on Wikipedia because she dared to suggest that Mengele did not live in Nueva Germania. I really wanted Mengele to live there, because I hate the Four Fruits. And I know if I just say something enough it will become accepted, such as when I claimed the Dreamachine was there on Kurt Cobian’s Death Scene. I just kept their heads ringing with a constant barrage of insults. I posted everything I could think to insult them on my website at Planet Juniper. But, at the same time I refused to make up, and talk over problems.  The people who agreed with me or at least did not disagree, I posted praise for them. I called them Royal Colonial Blue Bloods.

Lauren’s note:

(Nueva Germania is not even a Colony. It’s a settlement. The definition of a colony is on that a government funds and supports.

People reacted negatively to finding out there was really a way to visit Nueva Germania, and it did not involve “petitioning” Woodleaf.

For a good long while, Woodleaf asked people to petition on his website at Planet Juniper to him to try to prove why they were worthy of a free trip to Nueva Germania, which by the way did not include airfare. There are a number of tour groups that will take tourist to Nueva Germania, and hopefully on one of the days when the museum will be open. The museum is only open by request on certain days. But, the tours did not happen. It was only to string people along and make them upset with anticipation of either a trip or a free dreamachine, wishing machine or another one of the boxes he was selling online. That is why Kristina called Woodleaf, the Box Guy. Woodleaf came into Kristina and Eva’s burned out house on Clement Street in San Francisco, because Eva would leave the door open. Eva had lost the key, and there was nothing to steal in there anyway. When Woodleaf came in, he left literature about himself. He wanted to give them boxes in exchange for the use of the phone number 666-Evil. He used to keep a voice mail box back in die Vergangenheit.

An unnamed former friend of Woodleaf said, You feel really stupid after getting conned and you just don’t want to deal with any of it anymore. You just want the offending party to go away, and all the feelings to go away.

The doorbell rings

Outside the door is Fish and Game.

“Open up! this is Fish and Game, we have a warrant to claim the illegal parrot from the Amazon.”

They took Cracky.

Woodleaf: Tragic Music “Oh why, Oh Cracky, you were my only friend.” Tears.

Greek Chorus: “Did you hear, Woodleaf co-wrote a book with his pet parrot. He made up all the parts the parrot wrote. Parrots can’t actually write, at least not in English.”

“Yes, it is sad, he is so very delusional.”

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