Fish and Wildlife

Woodleaf is continuing to talk to Cracky, his Parrot and only friend.

And so you see, Cracky, when I uploaded “My Story” about G (as in Gee, you have a really big head) and I uploaded a video of her large, fat, square-shaped head on my website at Planet Juniper, (I had tricked a bunch of senile old people into allow me to use their name, so I could and would upload the most offensive of content, but no one would know it was me.) It was not that I wanted so much to upload offensive materials, which I could have done, but I was really angry at them. I blamed the Four Fruits for the reason that they did not like the idea of the city sister project any longer.  For example, I posted a post that I claimed was a letter written by someone about someone who was said to be stealing mail from mail boxes on Planet Juniper. Let us look back at this letter now Cracky, as I am in the mood to reminisce.

My name is (deleted,) and I am on the Planet Juniper Community Association board. Today while sleeping in late after working the late shift, I was awoken by my dogs barking loudly at about 9 am. When I went outside to investigate, I found a white male 5’8 ” high,  140 lb., blonde gray wavy curly hair, bushy mustache, prescription glasses, with a large scar on his right neck, with a clip board in his hand cornered by my dogs. ( he kind of looked like a cheesy woody Allan) When he was questioned, he said he was an investigator for the post office, investigating mail fraud, and identity theft, and showed me a photocopy of a photograph of a Hispanic male, but he was dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, and did not look the part. when pressed for ID he said he did not carry ID when working under cover, this all seemed to be some sort of scam, but he stuck to his story.

“He was asking questions about my neighbors, and whether or not we received our credit card bills in the road side mail boxes, he had no car, was very suspicious and I asked him to leave the way he came, By the time I went in to change out my P.J’s , and came back outside, he was gone, I got in my truck, and went to check on my neighbors, and noticed he was nowhere in sight, I called the police and drove around to find him. he was parked almost a half a mile away. I found him looking through mail boxes at 102nd street, he saw me and jumped into his 1996 silver ( burnt almond /silver full size oldsmobile) driving down 106th street at speeds over 80 miles to 90 miles an hour. I followed him while talking to the 911 police line on the phone, I caught up to him close enough to read his license plate, in Littlerock and took down his License plate number, the police dispatcher asked me to stop chasing him, because he may be armed. I contacted the post office and they sent out a federal postal detective/ agent, right away. We met at the post office and he interviewed me. He informed me that the plate checked out to an individual, living in Compton, and that he matched the description, and he and the Sheriff, would be paying this guy a visit, for posing as a Federal Agent. On arriving home I stopped in at my new neighbors house, and his son said the guy had tried the same routine at their house. We’re not sure if this is a new burglary ring casing out homes, or just bandits stealing mail. The Federal agent said that postal investigators always carry ID, badges and are always armed, like a police detectives, and they never wander around in shorts and T-shirts. they will always show you their badge and ID when asking questions. “Be aware, keep on the look out for these scams, and suspicious characters wandering around asking strange questions. This may be a burglary gang who is starting to operate in the area, or a mail theft ring. The response time for the sheriff in this area is well over several hours, so we must be prepared to protect ourselves and our neighbors who might be elderly and need help. Report any unusual activity, or strangers to the sheriffs department.”

The only people who bothered to go to the website were Macy and her friends, and so they posted amusing posts on the guest book on my North Korea page on the Juniper website. I guess, they were very pleased with themselves at the time. So, it happened that one of Kim Jong Ills wives had died and I made this page in which I would take memorial comments about her. At that time I was doing a lot of stuff about death in my act. Macy found the page to be incomprehensible and a public relations nightmare. Do you know what they did to Otto Warmbier? You don’t want to know.

Macy saved “my story” and the video of the woman in which I made her say that Nueva Germanians had to eat human flesh. It was a leg to be exact, and Macy has all of this saved in case anyone wants to debate the videos existence.
I guess they thought what they had posted was pretty funny. So, I took down the guest book. My Art only generated negative comments. So, I banned all comments from everything possible. My reputation grew so notorious, that not one single person ever left anymore comments. I posted Macy’s Home Address on Wikipedia because she dared to suggest that Mengele did not live in Nueva Germania. I really wanted Mengele to live there, because I hate the Four Fruits. And I know if I just say something enough it will become accepted, such as when I claimed the Dreamachine was there on Kurt Cobian’s Death Scene. I just kept their heads ringing with a constant barrage of insults. I posted everything I could think to insult them on my website at Planet Juniper. But, at the same time I refused to make up, and talk over problems.  The people who agreed with me or at least did not disagree, I posted praise for them. I called them Royal Colonial Blue Bloods.

Lauren’s note:

(Nueva Germania is not even a Colony. It’s a settlement. The definition of a colony is on that a government funds and supports.)

The doorbell rings

Outside the door is Fish and Game.

“Open up! this is Fish and Game, we have a warrant to claim the illegal parrot from the Amazon.”

They took Cracky.

Woodleaf: Tragic Music “Oh why, Oh Cracky, you were my only friend.” Tears.

Greek Chorus: “Did you hear, Woodleaf co-wrote a book with his pet parrot. He made up all the parts the parrot wrote. Parrots can’t actually write, at least not in English.”

“Yes, it is sad, he is so very delusional.”

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