Missive

Time Unknown: sometime between 2006 and 2007.

Subject: Woodleaf  and G. also known as The Big Headed Women in The Fall of 2004, before his first fake trip to Nueva Germania.

Woodleaf to Cracky, come in Cracky

CK: I am here

Woodleaf: Have you read my latest missive?

CK: I have

Woodleaf: What did you think?

CK: You mean the one entitled “My Story?”

Woodleaf: Yes

CK: I was moved

Woodleaf: Oh, thank you Cracky, you are my best friend ever, no one else will read my missives.  If they do read them they are left strangely speechless, and unable to provide me with constructive feedback.

CK: Macy sent a cable. The cable said, legal won’t allow us to print the story. We can’t use The Big Headed Woman’s real name or any of her family members real names.

Woodleaf: Don’t worry about G. She is never going to find what I posted about her online. Especially since I posted it as a PDF on Planet Juniper and Google does not index PDFs.  But, what do you suggest we do to prevent further legal issues?

CK: Macy is your PR, and I am just a parrot, who repeats back everything you say and adds the words, “I was moved.” I think you are completely right, as usually.

Woodleaf: That is right! I never listen to Macy. I do just the opposite of everything she tells me, because I think it’s funny.

CK: I am sure we won’t be sued, and that lawsuit won’t affect the status of our brilliant novel that we will co-author of our correspondence.

Woodleaf looks at Facebook on his Iphone and then says to Cracky, with alarm.  “What does this mean? Her youngest daughter is now in a relationship with Jesus Exchange?! She was the one whom I wanted to marry to you, as I put in our book.”

(Lauren has read the book, but it’s out of print. Lauren retains a rare copy of the book. The book hold an Amazon ranking of over 17 million, but that is not so bad, as the lowest selling book on Amazon would be ranked at 18 million.)

CK: The Jesus Exchange means girls are married to Jesus, and not to any mortal men. It’s like nuns.

Woodleaf: Cracky, you are brilliant.

CK: You are too kind.

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