The Four Seasons Quarterly Newsletter is a newsletter which keeps interested readers informed on all things Woodleaf in nature. As the name implies, it is published four times a year. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. The newsletter serves to inform the public on the seasonal events at Castle Fluffy Clouds. For example, instead of having an Easter in which children hunt for eggs in the gardens only an ugly concrete rabbit figure is shown. Woodleaf must’ve been having a bad Easter in 2011. Of the children posted, never have such unattractive children been seen online.
Castle Fluffy Clouds is located high on a mountain top, so it’s literally in the clouds. The large property has landscaping and Woodleaf likes to pretend that he is renting out apartments there. When people go to Castle Fluffy Clouds they can’t see any apartments. So Woodleaf writes fake Yelp Reviews which claim the apartments are in the back, where no one can see them for increased privacy. He plays around with the Castle Fluffy Clouds website from time to time, but it looks as if he has neglected it for years. He removes the entries about the orgies, and then puts them back in. What does it matter if no one reads these entries? He feels he can either leave it in or keep it out without anyone caring or noticing. Macy, my PR is sure to hate these entries, so I guess I will keep them in, he thinks.
The largely abandoned castle also features a moat which is filled with piranha fish to discourage “visitors” from leaving. With a grant from Satan, Woodleaf was able to install slot machines in a room which serves as the makeshift casino. Satan is not a silent partner, and he expects to be given credit. “Funding provided by Satan” banner ads appear on the webpage.
Woodleaf wants to write stories similar to Thomas Python. Python is very elusive, although Woodleaf, eternally hopeful, hopes to be able to contact him. Thomas Python is not possible to contact. But it is possible that Thomas Python wrote letters to the Anderson Valley Advertiser under a pen name of Wanda Tinasky, (not Wanda Sykes) who was a bag lady who lived under a bridge. It is believed that the author of these letters was a man who was called the rejected beat poet, Tom Hawkins. The rejected beat poet traveled to San Francisco to try to be one of the Beats, and when they rejected him he moved to Fort Bragg and wrote letters to the Anderson Valley Advertiser. Perhaps Woodleaf should consider writing letters to the Anderson Valley Advertiser to show off his skill in writing a letter that is similar to the style of Thomas Python? The rejected poet killed his wife in a murder/suicide, just when her pottery business was really taking off.
I need to expand the artistic options at Castle Fluffy Clouds by providing more crafts, including ceramics, muses Woodleaf to himself. But the Castle is so narrow that it is hard to find space. He needs to repurpose another room for the kiln and the pottery wheels.
The roses won’t grow at Castle Fluffy Clouds. They come back to life in the spring after the melting of snow, but grow small, week with horrible spots on the foliage. The depression of the gardeners clearly shows in the plants.