When Dr. Evil returns home from the Virgin Mega Store, Buffy is not there. He calls her cell, and there is no answer. Maybe one of my enemies, like Bob Nelson, has kidnapped her, thinks Dr. Evil, and he begins to panic. This is how it happens when someone disappears on television. At first the family assumes they are just late. It is not like the guy who broke his back, and got stuck at Mushroom Beach. No one looked for him. Dr. Evil decides to call the police right away. There is no reason to wait. But, something stops him. Buffy could be with Javier. It would be embarrassing to find out it was nothing if he called the police. He wants to be understanding of Buffy’s affair, since she is young and foolish.
Suddenly Buffy walks in the door, and Dr. Evil is overwhelmed with emotion.
“Thank God, you are safe, I was so worried.” Dr. Evil runs over and kisses her.
“The mall has extended holiday hours. I would have called but the battery in my cell died.” Buffy tells him.
Dr. Evil is so happy to have his wife back, that he resolves to stop trying to see Macy, and devote his all his time and attention to Buffy. He wants to give her a special gift, but what? They have everything already.
Then he sees an ad in the New Yorker, that says:
“Promise her anything, but give her a chicken.”
So, he goes to the website, he has been tricked, there is not a chicken to be found here.
So, he takes on an ad on Craig’s List
“Wanted one chicken, for my Wife Buffy. Preferable one that talks”
“A talking chicken would be a great gift for Buffy!” thinks Dr. Evil optimistically.
As the days past strangely the ad gets no replies.
Dr. Evil decides to take a drive to the country to look for a talking chicken.
He pulls off the 101 for to visit a Starbucks. He notices homeless chickens living in the parking lot. He talks to them, but only one of them talks back to him. The chicken is mostly white with some black and grey feather interspersed.
“If you take me back to San Francisco with you, I will be a valuable ally,” the chicken tells him. Mr. Evil picks up the chicken, and places it in a basket and puts the basket in his car.
“It was terrible being homeless,” comments the chicken, from the basket. Where is my new home? What is it like?””
“I own a Castle in San Francisco,” says Dr. Evil. “I call it Castle Evil, but most people call it The Castle. It has a hot tub.”