Buffy Goes Shopping



Buffy drives her cute little sports car to the Stonestown Galleria, and parks in the underground garage. She goes up to the top level heading toward Nordstrom’s. She notices a horrible smell coming from a store called Bath and Body Works. The blonde, Aryan, Pixie like, model is larger then life, and nude, save for flower peddles covering certain areas of her body. She shivers in disgust and takes the elevator down to the Ground Level.

She notices the words “We Love Shoes”, and she heads for the shoe department, but she is side tracked by the makeup department which one must past first to reach the shoes.

Maybe she should also update all her makeup? She checks herself out in the mirror, on the counter, to see if she is getting older.

Suddenly the mirror is talking back to her, and telling her, “You are losing your husband’s affection”.

She is shocked and stunned.

“I am not!” she declares.

“Well,” says the mirror, “Have you noticed his complete lack of interest in your conversation? You try so hard to say deep and meaningful things to him, and he is ignoring you. From time to time he replies, but he really wants you to be quiet, because he is thinking of Macy.”

“That is a lie!” replies Buffy. But, she knows he is thinking about something else, but what is it?

“What is he really thinking about?”  she demands of the Mirror.

“Don’t you wish you knew?” the Mirror mocks her.

“But there is one hope for you Buffy,” says the Mirror. “If you find the right shade of lipstick, maybe he will notice you again.”

“May I help you, Miss?” the Saleslady is asking her, breaking the spell.

“I need lipstick,” says Buffy, with determination.

Feeling disillusioned and slightly morose, Dr. Evil, decides to head downtown to the Virgin Mega Store. The large outlet, that sells, music, DVDs, and books. The Virgin Mega store (now defunct) has café where Dr. Evil likes to sit and people watch when he needs to get out of the house.

He would be feeling even worse, if he knew what the Mirror at Nordstrom’s was telling Buffy, at this moment.  But right now, he is blissfully unaware of the impeding disaster, which could result in Buffy losing her mind.

On his way up Mission heading to 5th on foot, he passes several posters for a small play house. The Endlessly Cabaret presents, “The Big Mistake,” he reads these words, but barely notices.

He goes into Virgin Mega Store, and the music is playing loud. He likes loud music, so he doesn’t have to think.

“Why should I care?” Danny Elfman sings.

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